maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
