y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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