STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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