i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
