Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
