omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
