Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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