my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
