I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
