cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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