Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
