seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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