All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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