No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
