Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
