now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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