I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
