We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
