Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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