wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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