Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
