Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
