is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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