the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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