Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
