My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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