we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
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