I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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