I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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