he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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