Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
