Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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