we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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