guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
