im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize