and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize