bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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