Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
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This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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