Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
