How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
