My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
