hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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