yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
