This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
