That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dignity is for republicans.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
