Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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