Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
