i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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