I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
