i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
