You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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