I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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