just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
