why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Farmville is her only friend.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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