Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
