Non-Jews are for practice
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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