he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
