exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
