doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
