no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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