The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
