Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You left your phone here
Wait...
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