hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
