ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
