i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
