Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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