you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
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The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
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Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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